If you read any of my tabs on this blog you know that I started this with a particular subject in mind. Sex and dating. And that is still what I want from this blog, sort of. But tonight I decided to digress a little, as I may do from time to time again, and be the real me.
I like things organized. I like lists. I made a lot of topic lists for this blog before I even got started. The problem is that I am NOT an organized person. I desperately want to be. So I had a certain organization in mind for this blog. But what has happened is that in a short time I have already gotten bored by myself. I am not me when I am trying to be all super librarian (Yes, I actually was a librarian for 3 years actually. An incredibly unorganized one.), I am someone else. Someone less entertaining. Because, really, I am a train wreck. And who doesn't love a good trainwreck.
I cam to this epiphany only a few moments ago. It was 6pm on a Friday night. My kids are with their dad this weekend. I have had the day off. I am already in my pajamas. Cooking bacon for dinner, burnt bacon (burnt on purpose because I have a pork intolerance and overcooking bacon makes it safe for me. It's like tree bark. Delicious, heavenly tree bark. Except that last piece which was more like burnt tree bark. Not as good.). I am having burnt bacon, and nothing else, because I am out of food. I planned to go to the store today. That didn't happen. Neither did a few other chores I meant to do.
What DID I do? Watched some hulu.com, did a few dishes, cleaned the litter box (which was then immediately exploded in by one cat who must have had something BAD to eat), picked up a kid from school because she said it hurt when she peed, but it was just a scratch, and caught up on my new favorite blog, Hyperbole and a Half.
If you have not read this blog you must. Right now. No!!! WAIT! As soon as you are done reading THIS blog. Reading this blog I realized a few things.
1. I am not nearly as clever/funny/adorable as I wish I was.
2. Even though I am a single mom in her 30s I live much like a 20 something with no kids. (Only I don't have the body of a 20 something with no kids sadly.)
3. I want Allie (the blogger) to be my little sister.
So while I read her blog I occasionally paused to stare at the 2 loads of clean laundry that has sat, unfolded, on my couch for two days. I got up to clean cat barf, which I would have ignored if it had not been in my immediately proximity (I know, gross.). I obsessed over a guy who is completely insane and worthless but who told me that I have too much drama going on. I worried that my house may be reported to the producers of Hoarders. I fantasized that I could change said worthless man to be the man for me. (I said it was a FANTASY! I know it ain't gonna happen!) And I wished I were indeed Allie, only I didn't live in Montana.
Oh...almost forgot. I also took a test online and discovered I may have adult ADHD. Cool.
So, as you can see, THIS mommy really NEEDS love. And it will be no small feat to find a man to love her.
Now I will go have some ice cream for the rest of my dinner. Women need a lot of calcium!